The Highway Patrol - doing their job, and trying to keep drivers from causing accidents. No accidents on this drive home, so I applaud the Missouri Highway Patrol. But as I was driving, I had a moment of insight. I am an aggressive driver, and if there is nothing between me and the road, it's not unusual to find myself pushing eighty when the speed limit is seventy. At one of these times, as I was trying to pass a line of semis and not really thinking at all, I looked up to see in my rear-view mirror that the cars behind me were getting back into the right lane, and a patrol car was cruising behind me. My heart raced as I made my way to the front of the line, got over and let my speed drop to seventy. The patrolman just kept cruising in the left lane, just off the left bumper of my car.
It's funny how my demeanor changed. Where I had been slumped (I was tired), with one hand on the wheel and the other resting against my forehead, that elbow on the door, suddenly I was straight, hands at ten and two, checking vigilantly for speed and other cars and drivers (namely, that patrolman). Since I've got my act together, maybe he'll ignore the previous speeding, right?
That seems to be how we treat sin. We'll think we're doing just fine until we realize we're about to get into trouble and then we straighten up. Some of us will play by the rule forever and always, driving by the speed limit and properly changing lanes, and never, ever drawing the attention of the Highway Patrol (whomever that might be - I haven't spent a lot of time thinking this through). Others have been pulled over a few times and know how to play the game - if they get pulled over again, that's the end of their driving privileges - they can manipulate or obey at whim. There a few who can drive a little bit recklessly, never seem to get into trouble, and arrive at their destination just fine. And then there's that guy who's blazing down the highway at a hundred miles an hour, blows a tire, and takes out half the highway in their aftermath.
Okay, maybe those aren't the best analogies. But I was thinking that my reaction to utilize the cruise control kind of seems funny... I wasn't paying attention in the first place, and the cruise control was just another way that I didn't have to pay attention, instead of actually driving my car. I don't want the responsibility that comes with the privilege of driving, I just want to get to my destination, no matter the consequences. Maybe we just want to do what we want to do, until something happens that causes us to whip back into shape, but we keep pushing the boundaries, keep getting those scares, keep pushing until something really BIG happens and moves us into submission.
But... as I was finally looking at the back of that patrol car, driving off into the sunset, I thought that I would really prefer to just drive the car, to take seriously the gift and the danger that I had in my hands - both my car and my sanctification. Maybe it's not as showy, not as thrilling, not as dangerous. Can I follow Jesus in slow, meek, humble submission? I'm going to be pulled over at some point... that is reality. There's no way around the truth that I can't do anything in this life perfectly. There's so much more here to think about regarding God's work, and our part, and the beautiful mystery of grace in Jesus Christ... all of which I believe, and all of which I'm too tired to try and flesh out in a coherent way. All I'm asking is why we seem to be okay with flirting with sin when it kills, deadens and harms us, somehow thinking that we'll walk away unscathed? My ruminations aren't intended to be a perfectly-thought-out pictures of sanctification, not by any means. Merely, I saw the picture, saw my sin, and thought, "Oh..."
BTW: I do use cruise control specifically so that I don't speed... I am speaking in the hypothetical here, and fully utilize that control on my car for my own safety as well as the other drivers. It is not an excuse, either in real life or my musings, to stop paying attention.
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