When Everything Else is Gone...

'A s****y world sometimes produces a rose
The scent of it lingers but then it just goes.'
- Bono

There are times when we come face to face with the painful reality that the world is full of sin... that at best, it can only offer a band-aid for the deep, gapping wounds we suffer. What is the point of moving forward, we wonder, when the raw emotions of suffering leave us huddled on our bed in the fetal position? And our whole sense of purpose is ripped out from underneath us, dignity and self-respect just a fleeting memory as we fall on our backside and can only lay on the floor weeping.

It is truly a difficult world - in so far as we deal with with the dirt and grime and awfulness of living with sin - and perhaps that frightens us. What do we do in those circumstances when all of our hopes and dreams and heart's desires are taken from us? Even worse, when pride and dignity are damaged? When all that is left is to cry out... but to whom? My suspicion is that I am not crying out to God, the Creator of the Universe, to God who is my Father, to God is my only Savior. Rather, I am crying out to my own idols of comfort and self-worth... even of self-protection. Perhaps the great desire of my heart is for my own gain and for God's glory?

Maybe you are surprised you got of bed this morning - I am surprised I got out of bed this morning. I'm surprised that in the midst of my fears and my wailing that there is a shred of faith that pushes me past my self-righteous moaning. I might have a better understanding of what it means to say, 'I believe! Help my unbelief!' Oh yes, it breaks open my heart with each day that goes by, with each disappointment. It would be easier to give up, it would be easier to stop caring, to stay in my bed, to give in to the belief that the Lord has stopped caring.

But I don't believe that.

I believe! Help my unbelief!

My heart is broken, my pride has been damaged, and I am weeping daily. It is a hard world. But do I believe that something greater than this present pain and disruption can come to be? Yes. Do I believe that the rose will bloom? Yes. I know that it will fade. The scent will indeed go. I will find new obstacles and problems. But the gospel promises remind me that Jesus does not fade, Jesus does not pass. He remains true and he remains strong. He remains good.

When everything else is gone, he remains.